Scary

Today was my first OB appointment at the hospital. I waited and waited to be seen, getting me nice and agitated for the doctor. DH napped with his head in his hand beside me while my leg jiggled nonstop. Nervousness.
The doc couldn't find the heartbeat.
We switched from the doppler to the portable ultrasound, squishing almost-hot gel on my abdomen again. No heartbeat. No baby. Just a very full bladder. Another doc came in to look. Nothing. I dressed and waited to be seen in the 3-D ultrasound room.
More waiting. More nervousness. I voiced my concern to DH, who said I was a worrywart. No help there.
We traveled a few hallways down to the big ultrasound room, where I got more almost-hot gel and a very determined tech. She was going to find that baby if she made me pee my pants, darn it.
She almost did, too. But she found that baby, darn it. Just a grain of rice in a sea of black. It was almost as an afterthought that DH asked how far along I am. I'm glad he did; I totally forgot to! I'm exactly 5 weeks and 3 days along, so no worries about the hot tub or ibuprofen I had in Florida. I actually got on prenatal vitamins earlier than most women know they're pregnant (that is, when they're not particularly trying, like me), so I've got a pretty good start for this kid. I'm still a high-risk pregnancy, but I finally feel like I can announce to everyone that I'm knocked up!
Now if only this nausea would go away, I'd be dandy...